Space War (aka: Daisy is Ranting Again)

I feel like I am caught in a "space war." When you hear those words, you may think of some sort of intergalactic battle between aliens and earthlings with missiles flying by in the darkness, smashing into debris floating in the vast emptiness around the mother ship. Perhaps you imagine laserbeams that flash and strobe, while the air crackles with the noise of explosions in every direction.

However, the "space war" I am fighting is one not quite so dramatic and of an entirely different sort. My battle is not one in "space," but one for "space."

Everywhere I look in my house there are too many things taking up space making my home crowded and cluttered. To my way of thinking, clutter means chaos, and chaos creates stress. I like to have things neat and organized. Yes, I was raised with the axiom, "A place for everything and everything in its place." It just makes good sense to me.


The fellows in my household, however, are not so concerned about order. Other matters are of higher priority to them. It's just the way they are. So you can see my problem. Many of the things cluttering up our home don't belong to me, and so it is not up to me to dispose of them. They belong to my husband and sons. If they were my things, I could solve the problem easily with several large trash bags by sorting through them, getting rid of the ones we no longer need, and neatly arranging what was left. What comes as no surprise is that those with whom I share my space do not agree with what I would deem unnecessary for us to keep.

Let me give you an example. From where I sit right now, I can see a book shelf. The top two shelves hold rows of VHS tapes. Yes, I said two book shelves full of VHS tapes. Believe it or not, we do still own a VCR machine that works. Only problem is that no one ever watches these tapes, and I'm fairly certain that no one ever will. Nearly half of them are taped episodes of an old British TV spy show relic called "The Avengers." Does anyone even remember this show?

It features the character John Steed and a succession of female sidekicks, including Cathy Gale, Emma Peel, and Tara King. This was one of my husband's favorite shows in his younger days, and so he wants to hold onto these tapes. They are a bit of nostalgia for him that he doesn't want to part with. So there they sit taking up space and collecting dust. I have suggested on more than one occasion that perhaps it is time to part with these "gems." He, of course, protests that he might want to watch them someday.  I know what you are thinking. You're thinking I should back off and let the man hold onto this bit of fun from his past. Perhaps if this were his only obsession, I would agree with you, but this is just one of many.

For example, in our basement he has a collection of over 300 Pez dispensers of every shape and kind imaginable.

Many of these are still encased in their cardboard and blister packages.

Others are kept in a glass display case.

Yes, some of these are valuable, but they are still space takers. I have tried to encourage him to find a collector to sell these little flip-headed candy holders to instead of holding onto them. I’d rather not have to deal with them myself in the event it gets left to me.  I don't want to leave the mess for our sons to have to deal with either, but my requests so far have fallen on deaf ears. If your family is like mine and you have lots of "stuff" that you need to organize or store, try using these Lowes promotional codes to find a wide variety of storage options at a decent price.  


A collection of James Bond books by Ian Fleming fills another book shelf. I can't remember the last time any of these books were read.  In our bedroom there is a large storage unit filled with music cassette tapes. Yes, we still have a cassette tape deck that works, but no, he doesn't ever listen to these tapes. He listens to all of his music on his iPod or through his laptop or with his iPad. It's all digital music now, and yet he hangs onto these cassette tapes, these space takers that are adding to our clutter and chaos. He reminds me that the cost of these tapes, when he originally bought them, would add up to a tidy sum.  Getting rid of them would be like throwing money away according to him. 


I realize this is true, but I look at it differently. To me it is like the clothes you had as a child. Yes, good money was paid for them, but once the clothes are outgrown and no longer wearable, you don't keep them around just because you had to pay money for them. You hope that you got the value from them while you could still wear them. Now that they are no longer useful, it is time to donate them to charity and move on with life.


My sons, alas, follow in their father's footsteps. Stored in various places in this house are boxes of rocks and shells. Another box is stuffed with baseball and soccer and wrestling and track and cross country and football trophies and plaques and other such memorabilia. Several very large photo albums are filled with Pokemon cards. A coin collection is another space thief in our home.


No, we aren't candidates for the Hoarders show. Things haven't gotten that out of hand, but I really do wish we could downsize and simplify. We have lots of closets and shelves and storage space, so things are out of the way and mostly in some semblance of order.

I am not completely innocent in this consuming of space, but I have made a concerted effort to downsize what I own. I did have an extensive collection of both cookbooks and crafting and crochet books and magazines. (Books of any kind will always be a weakness of mine, I will readily admit.) Not too long ago I reduced the number of these to just a handful instead of shelves full. Recipes, especially, I rarely look up in my cookbooks anymore. I look them up almost exclusively on the internet now or have them tucked inside my head. I still have a large collection of sheet music and music books that I need to sort through, but I am making progress.


I think much of my consternation over the overwhelming number of possessions that we have that we really have no need for came about because, for the most part, I was the one who sorted through my parents' belongings when they passed away. Some of those belongings are here, too, adding to our clutter. Many things were sold or given away, but I tried to save only things of high sentimental value and things that I thought my sons or my nieces and nephews  might someday like to have. If I have a choice in the matter, I'd rather not leave such a daunting task for my sons when I'm gone from this world. I'd rather leave them with memories of how much I love them than with boxes of possessions to sort through and agonize over and make decisions about.


I think when we reach a certain age we become less obsessed with the feeling of always needing more and more and always wanting the newest gadget or trend. Possessions must be stored and maintained and kept clean. They can become a nuisance, and in some cases it gets to a point where we are owned by our possessions rather than the other way around. "Less is more" really is true sometimes. Paring your possessions makes you realize what is most important to you in your life. You set your priorities and can refocus on your goals and dreams.  I think it would feel liberating to have less clutter. It would make me feel lighter and more carefree.

We have talked recently of moving, perhaps in a year after our son graduates from high school, or perhaps in five years after he graduates from college. We might move south to a warmer, less harsh climate. I would certainly like to do that. If we do, I hope we leave much of what we have here now, behind. I think life could be much simpler than it is now. I think life should be much simpler than it is now.


I’m still wondering how I am going to convince my family that we need to do this. Perhaps I’ll need to use some of those lasers and explosions that I mentioned at the beginning of this post!


How about you? Are you someone who collects and stores things, hating to let go of items you have a sentimental attachment to or that you think you might use someday, or are you one more like me who is yearning to simplify life and your surroundings?