I'll be away for a while.

Suddenly and unexpectedly, my mother passed away this morning.  She went quickly, and I'm grateful that she wasn't in pain and didn't suffer.  I'll be away for a while so that I can take care of matters here.  Thanks to all for your prayers for us.

Shoop-Shoop-Shoop-Do-Wa

I've been walking on the track at the Y every day now for three weeks.  I've been getting up at 6:00 am every morning so I can fit it into my day.  Getting up early is sometimes a struggle, but I do it anyway because nobody can do this for me.  I've lost a little weight, not much, but a little.  More importantly, though, I feel stronger and have more energy and feel much less stressed than I did before I started. Going there has become pretty much routine in the mornings for me now which is what I hoped for.  I'd much rather be outside walking in the park, but the snow and ice and cold have been relentless this winter, making indoor walking necessary.


I don't walk very fast.  In fact, I apparently walk even slower than I realized, or so it seems by all the people who keep whizzing by me as I plod along!  Yes, the twenty somethings and thirty somethings, both male and female zip past me, some walking and some running, as if I am standing still.  This doesn't bother me nearly as much, though, as the sixty somethings and seventy somethings that go power walking past me and my turtle-like "slow and steady is the pace" ways chirping, "Good Morning," to me as they go by.  I have to keep reminding myself that I am not competing with any of those other people there.  I am there to improve my health not win a race against anyone.  This is a good thing because if I was there to be in a race, I'd definitely not be coming in first place! 


One day there was a man doing all sorts of strange walking on the track.  It amused me, but I managed to not laugh as I went past him.  Yes, I went past him, rather than the other way around, but only because of the way he was walking.  Part of the time he walked sideways.  Part of the time he walked backwards.  Some times he did a kind of funny little half lunge step around the track and some times he did a high knee step around the track.  It was quite funny to watch.  I know the theory behind doing this is to exercise different muscles and get a more complete workout, but I don't think I could bring myself to go around that track the way he did it.  I'm sure people would laugh if I did.  I couldn't help but be reminded of Monty Python's Ministry of Silly Walks while watching him.  In case you've never seen it, here's the clip.

Twelve laps around the track equals one mile.  The first week I walked fifteen laps each day.  The second week I walked eighteen laps each day, and this week I've been walking twenty-one laps each day.  Next week I will bump it up three more laps so that I will be getting two miles of walking in each day.  


One thing that makes my walks at the Y much more pleasant is listening to music on my mp3 player as I walk. In fact, the few times when I have forgotten to take my player with me, the laps around and around the track seemed to take much longer than when I had music to keep me company.  This song is one on my player that is fun to walk to because it keeps me moving along and puts a spring in my step too.  Not everyone likes Lou Bega's music, and I realize it isn't for everyone, but it makes me smile.  That makes sense, I suppose, since the title of this song  is, "Baby, Keep Smiling."  


It's Friday night and I haven't given you any Friday night music to dance to for a while.  So since we're out of practice, I'll go easy on you and let you walk along to this music with me, or if you really want to dance, be my guest.  I'm sure you could do a slower swaying back and forth kind of dance to this if you'd like to, even if you  do it from the chair where you are sitting in front of your computer.  Have a good weekend everyone, and I want you to remember two things: 1.  "Slow and steady is the pace," and  2.  "Baby, Keep Smiling."

31 and Counting...

I met this handsome guy 31 years ago today.  We met at college at a party, introduced by a mutual friend.  Shortly after we met, we realized that we also shared a class that quarter.   "Folklore as Popular Culture"  was the name of the class and our instructor's name was Ralph.  I don't remember learning a whole lot in that class, at least nothing that was very useful, but it did turn out to be a lot of fun taking it because of the fact that we were in it together.


We had our first date the next week after meeting at that party.  We went to see the Beatles cartoon movie, "Yellow Submarine," that was showing on old movies night at the campus theater.  We had both seen the movie many years earlier, but it was fun to see it again.  And the rest, as they say, is history.  We were married five years later and have been married ever since, of course.  We will celebrate 26 years of marriage this summer.


So many of our friends and family members have been through divorces and had such sadness brought into their lives as a result, that we feel very lucky to have found one another and to have beat the odds that face long term married couples.  We have had our ups and downs like any married couple does, but we feel very lucky to still be together and happily so.

And So On It Goes

And So On It Goes

Every week, it's the same. 

He must watch the game.

She sighs, shakes her head.

She finds football so lame.

He settles in with some snacks,

entrenched in the couch.

The TV drones on.

He begins to slouch.

.

She has left the room.

 The game is SO boring,

not worthy of watching,

only ignoring.

He stretches out on the pillows,

and drifts away snoring.

He never even knows

how it goes with the scoring.

And so on, and so on, and so on it goes.

Another Chance to See the Summer Sun

This time of year the lyrics from a song by John Denver often go through my head.  It is his song titled, "Winter."  This is how the lyrics go in case you've never heard them.

It's cold and it's getting colder 

it's gray and white and winter all around. 

And oh, I must be getting older 

and all this snow is try'n' to get me down 

There's a fire in the corner slowly dying 

sometimes I just don't feel like goin' on 

And yet I know it's more than worth the waiting 

for another chance to see the summer sun 

Come on shine on me 

"Grey and white and winter all around," those are the words that always stick in my head.  They stick in my head because that is exactly what it looks like this time of year.

You can listen to the song below if you'd like to hear it.

I know I'm supposed to be patient and wait for "another chance to see the summer sun," but today I didn't feel like waiting.  (No, I didn't fly off to Jamaica---I wish!)  

Instead,  I looked through some old photo albums to find some warm and sunny pictures.  I can't change the weather outside, but these pictures brought back memories of some sunny days for me. (WARNING: Daisy is about to submit you to the viewing of some of her old photos!  Get out now while you still have a chance!)

I don't have a scanner here at home, so these are pictures taken of pictures and are not good quality, but they are old pictures so I guess that is to be expected.

  Nothing says summer sun like a sundress and sun hat, right?  I was really "stylin'" it up right, wasn't I?  HA HA!

I made this dress and hat as a project for FHA (Future Homemakers of America).  I did a lot of sewing back then.

Many years ago, my husband and I took a trip to Washington, D.C. to visit friends and happened to be there on what turned out to be one of the hottest days of the summer.  We walked all over in the blazing heat (as I recall the temperature was around 100 degrees F.) seeing the sights.  To make a long story short, I ended up fainting inside the Capitol Building because of the heat.  I got the security guard there all shook up.  HA HA!  So, anyway, when I look at these pictures, I definitely remember the summer sun.

This is my husband.  In the distance is the Lincoln Memorial.

This is me in front of the White House...

and in front of the steps to the Lincoln Memorial.  Shortly after this was when I passed out in the Capitol Building.  After I came around again, we decided to take a taxi back to our friend's house that we were visiting instead of walking.  We had had enough of the heat for one day!

This picture is from another very hot day that I remember when we went on a picnic at the zoo.

My hair with bangs and braids---you could tell it was a hot day if I had my hair in braids like that.

Although this next picture was taken inside, it was also a very warm day that I remember.  I was the maid of honor for my roommate in college and one of the groomsmen nearly fainted from the heat.

I'm the second from the left in the darker green dress here.

The rest of these pictures are of my sons when they were quite young on some hot sunny days.

They had fun visiting with a Berenstain Bear at the Cedar Point amusement park

Here they are standing in front of a giant peony bush that was in the back yard of our house at the time.  I LOVED that peony bush!  It was the biggest one I've ever seen.  

Nothing says summer like mowing the lawn, right?  My younger son loved to play with that little toy mower.  It was actually a bubble maker.  As he pushed it along, bubbles would come floating out of the top of it.

These two pictures were taken on a family vacation to Myrtle Beach.

It certainly looks sunny in this picture.

This picture of them with a giant horse statue was taken at Sea World.  I love that big smile on my younger son's face in this one.

This little trip down memory lane has warmed me right up and has almost made me forget the snow that is coming down outside (again!).  

I hope you all are staying warm and that you have a great weekend!

Erma

   Sometimes when I visit my mother in the nursing home I see a short, frail woman in a wheel chair named Erma.  She has light gray hair curled softly about her face that poofs up just a little higher than it should on top.  She wears glasses that are too big for her face that sit perpetually perched part way down on her nose (which is also too big for her face).  I remember reading somewhere that our noses and ears continue to grow throughout our lives even when the rest of us has stopped.  It seems to me that must be true judging by the ears and noses on the folks at the home.  Behind those too big glasses, Erma's eyes always seem to be in a squint and full of suspicion for those around her.


   Nearly every time that I have seen Erma, she has been cradling a doll baby in her arms.  The little pink doll wears a pink and white dress and white ruffled bloomers and is wrapped in a small green hand towel for a baby blanket.  Attached to the doll's hand with an elastic band is a tiny cloth teddy bear.  Everywhere she goes in the nursing home: in the dining room for lunch; up and down the halls; in the lobby; in the recreation room; or in her own bedroom; Erma carries that doll along with her, sometimes resting it in her lap, sometimes clasping it tightly to her chest.


   Erma talks to the baby, coos to her, and gently strokes the doll's head.  Sometimes she sings very softly to the baby while cradling it and swaying back and forth in her chair.  It reminds me of the bounce and sway that new mothers seem to instinctively have when standing or walking with a fussy, crying baby.  The rhythm of their movement, a gentle rocking back and forth, calms the infant and lulls it to sleep.  Most mothers do it without even realizing it, I think.  Some folks are born to nurture, and I think Erma must be one of those.  It is a familiar role to her, one that she doesn't want to give up.  I imagine that it makes her feel needed.  She has the need to love someone, anyone, even if the someone is nothing more than a toy rubbery baby doll.  Giving love makes her feel loved, makes her feel as if she has a purpose, I suppose.


   One day I was sitting in the dining hall next to my mother as she was eating her lunch.  Erma, clutching her doll baby as always, wheeled into the room and up to our table.  I could tell she was upset, agitated about something, but I didn't know what.  She stopped next to me and took the green towel off the doll.  She folded it and refolded it on the table, trying to get it a certain way.  She wrapped the doll up in it, unwrapped and tried to swaddle it up again.  After several frustrated and failed attempts at wrapping the doll the way she wanted it done, Erma shoved the doll into my lap and said, "Here. You take her.  I don't want her."


   "I can't take your baby.  She's yours." I say back to her.


   "I don't want her.  I don't want her." Erma answers back, her voice rising as she repeats her plea.


   I lay the doll on the table and say, "Well, I'll just leave her here then.  Maybe you can get her later."


   "You can't just leave her by herself!" Erma cries out at me.  "She'll die if you just leave her there."


   Not knowing what to say, I say nothing.  The doll remains on the table where I had placed her.  Erma angrily wheels away from the table and goes to the far side of the dining hall as far from us as she can go.  She is muttering to herself the entire distance across the hall quite upset about something, although I still haven't a clue why she is upset.


   My best guess is that she is lonely and feels like a stranger in her own skin.  She doesn't feel like herself unless she is taking care of someone.  It is the role she is most familiar with, the one that suits her best.  All her life she has been the one to care for those around her.  She doesn't want this role she has now, the one that has been thrust upon her by her health and age, of being the one who is in need of care.  It makes her feel that she has failed, now that these roles have been switched for her.  Perhaps she feels useless and unwanted, with no real purpose left to her.  I could be wrong.  There could be any number of reasons why she is upset, but these are the impressions I am left with.


   One of the aides sees the doll on the table, comes and picks it up, and takes it off to Erma's room  She returns shortly to get Erma, who has found the locked door of a storage room that she is trying desperately to open, trying to get out of the dining hall.  The aide pushes Erma's wheelchair away from the door and out of the dining hall, presumably taking her to her room.


   The next time I visit my mother, I see Erma in the hall once again cuddling and cradling the pink rubber doll in the green towel.  It makes me both happy and sad, simultaneously to see her holding that doll.  I'm happy for her that she can find some comfort in this fantasy world where she lives, holding onto her past and keeping alive that part of her and that time in her life when she was well and truly able to nurture and care for a helpless infant.  At the same time I am saddened by the fact that I know with each passing day she is becoming more like that helpless infant that she cradles.  Each day takes her closer to being someone she doesn't want to be.

Catching Up With You

   The last week has been a busy one, but it has been productive for me.  Thanks to all of you for your messages here and by email.  I was feeling a little overwhelmed with my to-do list, and needed to take care of a few things.

   Because I hold power of attorney for my Mom and for financial reasons with regards to the laws concerning Medicare/Medicaid and such, I had to pre-plan the arrangements for my mother's funeral expenses.  No, I don't foresee her death as being anytime in the immediate future, but as I said, the arrangements needed to be done.  I needed to drive three hours away to where the funeral home is (close to the cemetery and close to where most of my family on my mother's side lives) in order to do this, so it took most of a day there and back to handle this matter.  As you can imagine, this task wasn't a pleasant one.  It left me feeling emotionally drained, but I am relieved to have gotten it done.

   Also, because winter arrived here so early this year with bitter cold temperatures, and the cold has held tight onto us throughout December and January, my walks outside have become a thing of the past for the last couple of months.  I was feeling like quite the slug from the lack of exercise.  I needed to carve out some time to set aside for myself to get back in the habit of exercise.  Over the past week, I've re-established my visits to the local Y to spend time walking around the track there.  It means I am now up at 6:00 am every morning so I can drive to the Y and get my walking in before time for me to get ready to go to work.  Getting up earlier means going to bed earlier too.  So I've been trying to adjust to this change and make it a new habit.  Although it has only been a week, I already can tell a difference in the way that I feel.  I have more energy and am of a happier disposition.

   I also had several other projects that had been pushed to the back burner of late on which I wanted to focus some attention.  I am making some progress on those things as well.  So here I am back to blogging.  I have kept up with reading the blogs that I visit regularly, and will be around to say hello to everyone soon. 

   My son's girlfriend turned 18 this past week, and we attended a birthday party for her.  She also got new glasses this week.  I think they look quite nice on her.

     My son had a close call when he took her home the same night these pictures were made.  I let him take my new car to take her home because he hadn't had a chance to drive it yet.  Let me just say that black ice on the roads and a large buck deer that leaps out into the road right in front of you is not a good combination, but fortunately, he was able to stop in time.  He said when he got home that he was glad he was driving my new car instead of the old Metro because the new car handles better in the snow, and he wasn't sure he would have been able to stop in time if he had been in the Metro.  

   He saw one deer at the side of the road ahead of him and slowed down keeping his eye on it to make sure it wasn't going to jump in front of the car.  Well, while he was keeping an eye on that deer, another deer appeared from the darkness on the opposite side of the road and jumped into the road directly in front of him.  As I said, he did manage to avoid hitting it, but the near miss shook him up some.  He said the buck was as big as the whole front end of the car.

The weather has been cold and grey for what seems like a long time here.  Every time the snow starts to melt just a little, then another storm goes through to give us a new layer.  I'm missing blue skies and the sun, but I know they'll come back around here eventually.

   Here are some pictures of our snow and icicles on the house (Icicle pictures are for you, Mildred).  ;-)  The icicles aren't as big and impressive yet this year as they have been other years---not that I want them to be!!

These are across the front of our house.

This is from inside looking out through the front picture window in the living room.  Can you see the icicles hanging down from the eaves?  It is hard to photograph them when the sky is gray.  They are easier to see and are much prettier when the sky is blue, but I have to work with what we have. 

These are the icicles on the back of the house looking out through my kitchen window.

We finally had a blue sky for a little while this morning, and I got a couple of pictures then.

Before the most recent snowstorm we had, which left us with five inches of new snow, the squirrels were having a feeding frenzy digging up the maple whirlygigs from under the snow in the front yard.  This isn't a very clear picture, but maybe if you enlarge it you can see there are five squirrels there all in close proximity and all digging in the snow for the seeds.  I think they knew the storm was coming and were preparing for it.  It was kind of like how some people make a grocery run to buy milk and bread and eggs whenever a big storm is predicted.

This was sunrise this morning.  It wasn't a very spectacular one, but I wanted to show you this tree.  Whenever I look out at this view from our side window, I am amused by the guy in our tree there.  Can you see him?  Wait, let me draw some outlines on him.

   There, can you see him now?  He's sitting down with both arms and both legs sticking up in the air as if he has just slipped and fallen on the ice.  HA HA HA!

   Today my husband and I traveled to a surprise 60th birthday party for a friend of ours.  The party was about an hour and a half away.  There wasn't much to see on the way there or back--mostly more white snow on the  empty corn and soybean fields and gray skies above them.

   We did drive by a fruit orchard of some sort--apple trees, I believe, which gave a little break from the monotony of white snow-covered fields.

  We had fun at the party.  This is a picture of our friend who was celebrating his 60th birthday.

   After lunch, they broke out guitars and drums and rhythm instruments and played a few songs to entertain the guests.

  

  It was fun, but the trip made for a long day, and I was glad to be home again afterwards.  This is a shot of the courthouse square as we rolled into town today.

   I hope you all have had a good week since I last blogged and that an even better week is coming for you in the days ahead.

On Break

I have decided to take a break from blogging for a while so that I can tend to some other matters.  Be kind and take care of yourselves and one another while I'm gone. 

Feeling a Little like Jane Jetson!!

Do you remember the flying cars that had the glass bubble on top used by George Jetson and his family?  

 I'm feeling a little like Jane Jetson today because last night I got a new car!  Well, it's new to me anyway.  It is a 2009 Honda Fit.  Because it has such great visibility in all directions, gets fantastic gas mileage, and is so much fun to drive, it feels like I am flying about in a Jetson car.  I love it!!

I haven't had a new car in sixteen years, so this is pretty exciting for me.  My younger son is excited too because he now has my old car.  Yes, he has inherited my little red, sixteen-year-old Geo Metro.  I'm not sure how lucky that makes him, but I suppose having my old car is better than having no car at all which is what his status was until last night.  We actually bought the Metro when I was pregnant with him.  I was eight months pregnant when we bought it, and I could barely fit behind the steering wheel!


Although there are lots of cool features with my new car, one of my favorites is how the back seats can fold down and make the whole back area a huge cargo space.  Plenty of room to haul just about anything back there.

I am definitely feeling like dancing tonight.  And since my new car has me feeling like Jane Jetson, I found a video of Jane Jetson (and some other characters from that show) dancing! 


 "Mama's in the backyard learning how to jive and wail."